I need Thanksgiving very badly. If I have to read one more data set about GDP in Western European states I'm going to go insane. In fact, I think I'm already getting there.

The lack of sleep is catching up with me...I've contemplated making some very bold moves recently. But the timing just isn't right. As much as I would love to come clean about a lot of stuff, this just isn't the time. Let's just hope the sleep deprivation doesn't push me into making a bad move...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you truly want something in life, you have to fight for it...with everything you've got.

I've never had to put up with so much crap to get what I want, as I did with last night's Switchfoot concert. I know, I know, it sounds like such a trivial thing...just a concert? It's nothing really lifechanging or momentous. People go to concerts all the time. Well...that concert taught me a lot about the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'll tell ya, it was totally worth it.

When I first heard about the concert, I was psyched. I checked all my class schedules for Nov. 7 to make sure there were no tests to worry about (and had my friends do the same), and four of us decided that we'd road-trip it to Norfolk for the night. It seemed too easy...and it was. A couple weeks ago, two of the girls found out their scheduling appointments for next semester were the day of the concert, right when we needed to be on the road. Then my professor changed a paper deadline to the 7th. Then my band director announced that the MRD's would be recording for our CD on that afternoon (and missing it would result in lowering my grade by a letter). Then they forecasted rain for the drive. Then parents started getting worried. It was just one thing after another. But I was NOT going to miss this concert; it's been my dream to see Switchfoot for years. So we changed around some plans to make parents happy, worked out the scheduling and paper deadlines, and the rain actually postponed the recording session. So things that were initially stacked against us gradually fell into place. THAT was some much-needed encouragement. On the drive, our main setback was that we got lost in downtown Norfolk (and coming home today we nearly ran out of gas while looking for a non-existent gas station in Charlottesville...that made me panic pretty bad). So our trip was not carefree by any means...but let me tell you, the reward for sticking it all out was incredible.

When we showed up at the Norva, there was only one group of kids in front of us, which was awesome. Second in line...I definitely didn't expect to get that lucky. But I was even more shocked when I looked over and saw a familiar face talking to the guys in front of us. It took me a minute to place it (I didn't want to jump to conclusions that a celebrity was standing in front of me), but as soon as I heard the guys call him "Tim" I started freaking out. It was Tim Foreman!!!!! I turned to the girls and started going nuts...subtly, of course (I didn't want to look like a freak in front of the guy) but I could not believe it was happening. He made his way back to our group and shook my hand. Now, I figure that celebrities meet so many people that they don't really care what your name is, so I initally just said, "Nice to meet you." But he shook my hand and said, "Nice to meet you, what's your name?" Oh baby, that got me. I was so far gone. Then I said something silly (and very typical Kathryn) like, "So are you anti-pictures or can we take one?" and he jokingly replied "Oh yes, I hate pictures." Wow, I joked around with Tim Foreman. That's so cool...anyway, we took a picture with him and he put his arm around me in it!!! Gah, I'm so head over heals for that man now. He had to stand on the railing to get to our height because he's so short, but I thought that was adorable. I told him how excited I was for the concert without souding too stalkerish (none of that "Omigod you're my hero I'm so in love with you" crap) and then asked him if he could sign my shirt. I felt kinda awkward asking him to sign my body, but he kinda chuckled and was happy to do it. That was so amazing. Talk about the rainbow after the storm.

The actual show was incredible. Those guys have more energy than I've ever seen in my life...but not the annoying kind, where you feel like they're just entertainers and not musicians. They sounded even better than they looked. Jon did crazy stunts like jumping off the piano, climbing the wall and then singing a song while hanging off the balcony, and coming into the crowd several times. Because I was front-and-center, I was right in the middle of the action every time he came towards the crowd. It was madness inside that mosh pit, but it was worth it just to get to touch his hand!!! They sang a good mix of stuff from their two most recent albums, plus several songs from their upcoming one. Then they gave us a choice of an old-school song. People had brought signs requesting "Chem 6a," but the band had planned to play "Learning to Breathe." So Jon let the audience vote! In the end, Learning to Breathe won, but I thought that was so awesome. The whole night was just incredible...it was one of those nights that you just never wanted to end. It'll truly go down as one of the best experiences of my life.

So I guess what I learned is that if you really want something bad enough--whether it be a Switchfoot concert or something much bigger--you have to put up with a lot of crap to get it. In the end, God will turn it into a blessing, as He does with everything.

As Switchfoot themselves say: "The shadows prove the sunshine."

Tonight I realized we're searching for the exact same thing, and I realized that's exactly the reason we're not meant for each other. Not that I ever thought we were. It was just an interesting confirmation.

After all, if we're both searching for the same thing, how could we ever find it in each other?

Yes, I am officially scarred for life. This morning I had to sit through the NASTIEST health class presentation ever about STD's. Let's just say that the graphic pictures made want to run to a convent and hide forever. Anyway, moving on...

Hmm...what's new in Kathryn's world? Well, several things, but some of them I would prefer not to make public, haha. God's really been stretching me lately in a couple aspects. First, He's really teaching me what it means to rest in Him. I'm such a worrier (as I'm sure most people know), and I tend to get worked up about things very easily. My housing situation for next year looked like it was headed into the ground for a long time, and then boom, God provided several options for me and my Bible study girls. It made all the worrying seem so pointless...which it is, of course. At Bible study on Sunday we talked about worrying and how it's actually disrespectful to God, because when we worry we don't trust that He's already taking care of it. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have the Lord in control than have to work everything out on my own.

Second, I'm really having to fight against my own stubborn will. It's so easy to ignore God's plan when something else is so inticing (for girls, it's usually a guy). I find it really easy to justify things to myself, even if I know they're not what the Lord wants. I try to push aside that little voice inside of me that says "Kathryn, just wait, you know God has something better," and I look for the immediate satisfaction. Last week I made a huge stride in fighting it, and though the human side of me didn't want to, I can see that it's all working out. It takes constant effort and prayer, but I guess that's all part of living in this skin.

No fall break for me this weekend...I have to be here with the marching band to run JMU's high school band competition. I've decided that my bitterness about the band thing needs to stop. I don't have to like it, but I should always be looking for the good in it. Easier said than done; just because I've decided I need to be happy doesn't mean it's actually happened yet. I'm a work in progress.

Speaking of band, that's where I'm headed right now. Look for the good, Kathryn. Look for the good.

I wish I had a clue what was going on.

My world has basically been turned upside down recently. Everything that I've ever known, been used to, felt comfortable with...it all seems to be changing. First off, I hate marching band now. Hate it. I've never disliked something so much in my life. And it's weird because band has always been "my thing." I've always been a band geek--how is it possible to do a full 180 in a matter of only a couple weeks? Something that has always given me so much enjoyment now pushes me to the verge of tears. It's weird to think of that part of my life ending...but I wonder if it's better that I made the decision to end it rather than it sneaking up on me senior year. This way, I know that I ran my course.

Second, I think I'm done with the Honors Program. It makes me sad to say that, but mapping out the rest of my college career, it just doesn't make sense. Having two majors and a minor means I have a full enough schedule already. It's hard for me to drop Honors because I feel like a slacker, like I'm taking the easy way out and not challenging myself. It'll be a very humbling experience if I actually go through with it, which is probably what God wants to use it for.

Finally, God is doing some crazy stuff with my relationships. A lot of them are changing...some for the better, some for the worse. I'm really scared that one is on the breakdown, and I have no clue what to do about it. It's headed in a direction that I never expected. And I have no idea where another one is going...and that weirds me out. It's just a crazy time. I know God has a plan, but I'm so lost right now.

Facebook's makeover isn't making life any simpler either.

Holy crap, I'm so glad this week is ending. Band camp is probably my least favorite week of the entire year. It's so miserably hot, and we're pulling 14-hour days, and my lips get so swollen that I can barely see my face. Not really, but you know what I mean. It pays off but man do I hate it. Plus, to be honest, a lot of band people drive me nuts. It seems like both years I've gotten stuck with really annoying dudes around me. Last year I had the 30-year-old guy with no social skills, and this year I have frat boy who complains about everything and asks really dumb questions. And I'm SO sick of all the sex jokes. Sometimes I wonder if the trumpet section is capable of going 10 minutes without saying something sexual. Or without quoting a movie line. They're fun guys, but I can only take so much of them.

But this brings up an interesting point that I've been pondering a lot since my France trip. This summer, I feel like I learned a lot about people--how they're all the same, how they're all different, how they're all searching for the same thing in life, how so many of them are completely lost, and how I'm supposed to love them. Before I went to Paris I pretty much isolated myself from people who weren't like me (i.e. crazy partiers). Obviously I was around them at times, but I did my best to distance myself from them. But over the summer I was thrown into an entirely new world where there wasn't really anyone else like me with whom to isolate myself, so...I was forced to find a new way to operate. Meeting people that I would normally avoid was such a humbling experience. They're such wonderful people, even if they don't act exactly like me. But they're also searching, and I could sense that in so many of them. And that's the very reason I need to stop isolating myself from them. They're searching for something that, thanks to the grace of God, I've found--shouldn't I share that with them? That makes me wonder whether or not I should stick out the band thing. I've had serious thoughts about quitting after this year...but is that really the best thing? Or do I need to be a witness to the very people that often drive me crazy?

Another people-thing I learned this summer is that it's so important to connect with others, on any level possible. The French think Americans are superficial because we have a lot of casual acquaintances--they see it as lazy and impersonal. To them, it's more important to get to know two or three people very well, than to converse with as many people as possible. I strongly disagree. Of course, I'm probably biased, but I've got reasons behind it. In Paris, no one talked to strangers. Store clerks never said anything but hello and the total price, people on the metro didn't even look at each other, and waiters never even asked how we were doing that evening. If you weren't a close personal friend, they didn't really care much about you. To me, THAT sounds superficial. True, they may never see me again in their life, but would it really hurt the waiter to smile and say, "How are you today?" Probably not. Since I've been back in the States, that difference between our culture and the French culture has jumped out. Yesterday at Wal Mart a little girl was eating a sour lollipop and made this adorable scrunched-up face, and I asked her what flavor it was. We had a cute little conversation and then went on our merry ways. I'll probably never see that little girl again, but we had a nice 30 second chat about her lollipop. Then the cashier had a picture of a little boy pinned on her shirt, and I asked her about it. She told me it was her grandson and then launched into a several minute talk about him and the rest of her family. I don't know her, let alone her grandson, and I probably never will. But I could tell it made her day to have someone ask about something so important to her. She could have talked to me for hours about that little boy, and even though she only got a couple minutes, I could see her light up at the chance to talk about him. To me, THAT'S what connecting with people is all about. It's about learning even a little something about another human being. The fact is, I will never get to invest as much time and attention into every single person on this planet as they deserve. I learned that as I strolled through Europe and realized how many freaking people are in this world. I'll never even meet half of them--but shouldn't I seize the opportunity to connect with the ones I do meet? So what if I can't invite them all over to my house on a regular basis--is that a reason to ignore them? The world is bigger than just me, and I want to get to know as much of it as I can.

And when I'm 60 years old, I sure hope someone asks me about the picture of my grandson.

My sweet puppy (aka cat) Frisky died today.

My funk just got worse.

I'm in a funk. I need to get out of it. Life is too good to be in a funk.

I'm just not myself right now.

Guess who's home?!? ME!!! I'll tell ya, it feels pretty darn good. It looks like home, feels like home, and even smells like home (the scent of fresh-cut grass and grills doesn't really extend past the US). Oooooh, and I just saw a commercial for KFC. I'll have to hit that up sometime soon.

So exams went really well; I know two out of my three grades, and I did great on both of them. It was such a pain to study for them so I was glad that my work actually paid off. After exams on Friday we took a lunch cruise along the river, which was a good way to kind of say goodbye to the city. Got some cool pictures and stuff like that. For the rest of the day I finished up my tourist shopping and then Colleen, Ken and I went out to eat (the waiter tried to give me a backrub...that was kinda freaky). But it was a good last day overall, much better than the day that followed...

We were all expecting crazy airport security because of the London scare, so I got to the airport about 4 hours before my plane was scheduled to leave. Notice the word "scheduled." That becomes important later. I checked in okay and didn't have to wait in the security line too long, but once it was my turn those people tore me to bits. They confiscated all my medicine (I guess you're not allowed to get a headache now), my $15 lipgloss (that ticked me off because I'm so freaking cheap), and even my chapstick. They went through every freaking pocket of my bags, which I suppose is necessary, but it didn't stop me from turning red every time the guy opened the pocket with my emergency tampons in it (he seemed to forget he'd already checked that one). Then he tried to take my chocolate because it was packaged in a soda-bottle, and I fought that guy for 5 minutes. I was NOT letting him take my chocolate. I threw such a fit that eventually he gave in and let me take it. By the time I got through security I still had over 3 hours to wait for the plane. So I played FreeCell for 3 hours...until they announced that we would have to take shuttle busses to the plane instead of boarding directly. I got on the first shuttle bus so I had to wait for 1 1/2 hours on the plane while the bus made several more trips back to pick up passengers. I tried to talk to the French guy next to me, who looked like he was in high school, but he wasn't much for conversation. Only the French would ignore their neighbor for 1 1/2 hours. Whatever. My plane took off 2 hours late, and the flight took forEVER. When I finally landed at Dulles I was absolutely ecstatic to see American soil. Of course, I had to stand on that American soil for another hour waiting for my bags, but when I FINALLY emerged from customs my whole family was waiting for me (with a custom-made sign!) and Leslie was with them!!! It was so great to see familiar faces, and drive through a familiar neighborhood, and eat a familiar dinner that came with all the Diet Coke I wanted. Man, it was so nice to be home.

So I chill in Ashburn for a few more days before heading back to JMU. I'm excited, but I'll also miss Ashburn. I never realized how much I like it here until I was plopped in a foreign city for 2 months. Paris was beautiful, but I'll tell ya, there's no place like home!!!

My bags are almost entirely packed and I don't leave for another three days. Perhaps that's a sign that I'm ready to go home? YES! The next two days are exams but I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating...partly because Colleen and I are having too much fun with Backstreet Boys music, and partly because I'm too focused on going back to the States. I just have to force myself to buckle down and get to work. Unfortunately I don't see a seatbelt anywhere near me, so that might not work too well...

So adding to my desire to leave is the fact that a group of 50 creepy French guys moved in last week. At first we all had hopes of making a couple French friends, but those dreams were quickly crushed when we realized how socially absurd these guys are. The ones who live in the room by the bathroom are the worst; they took a picture of me as I was walking out of the bathroom, then shared a good laugh over it. Um...creepy? I think so! And there's one guy who walks up and down the stairs without a shirt. And the rest of them check out us girls like we're the new car model they're interested in buying. Yuck. I can't wait to get back to the US, where guys don't wear jeans tighter than mine and can generally keep their absurdity to a minimum around other people. Trust me, I know there are a lot of nasty American dudes, but those guys look like angels compared to these weirdos. God bless the USA.

I head back to JMU in a week and a half!!! Though I don't have much time in Ashburn, I'm really looking forward to going back to school. It seems like it's been forever since I've seen my JMU friends...and I miss CRU like no other. Being without Christian community has been a challenge during this trip, but it's also reminded me that when it comes down to it, I've got God at all times, and that's all that matters. Yay for that!

I suppose that's all for now...I'm heading to bed since my study attempts have proven frivolous...

...besides, I only go to a "fun school" anyway, right Mr. Anonymous? ;-)

One week from now, I'll be packing my bags to head back to the States. Part of me can't believe this whole experience is coming to an end, but the other half is freakin' excited to go home. Gah, I'm so torn.

But I'm definitely making the most of my remaining time in Paris! On Wednesday, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was FINALLY released in France, so I was able to experience the glory for myself. Dude, I got so into that movie. I can see why some people wouldn't enjoy it but I absolutely loved it. Plus, our group laughed more than anyone else in the theater, because Jack Sparrow's verbal jib-jab doesn't exactly translate so none of the French understood the humor of it. Oh well, I did. That's all that matters. :-) And that ending--holy crap, I was totally unprepared for that ending! I don't think I can wait another few years for the third one. I'm starting a petition to have it immediately released.

Today I knocked off a lot of stuff on my to-do list: three cemetaries and Moulin Rouge. So it was a fairly productive day, but I'm pretty pooped because of it. Dude, someone needs to pick up their phone. It keeps ringing and because all our windows are open and we face the courtyard I can hear it really loudly. Never mind, now I can only hear the guy's music in the room above mine. It's not even good. Oh, he changed the song. Nope, this one's not good either.

So apparently this is "fly your boyfriend to Paris" week because a couple of the JMU girls have their boyfriends in town and another one had hers in last week. As happy as I am for them, I'm getty kind of sick of the abounding mushiness. Walking to the movie on Wednesday, we had to stop and wait for them several times because they had paused to make out. Um...yeah...awkward. I'm not completely anti-PDA but I am anti-gross-out-everyone-else-in-public. And even when they're not making out, they're stroking each other's hair or whispering in each other's ear or doing something else that makes me want to move to a country where everyone is asexual. I exaggerate of course, but man, I can't take much more of this. Maybe a part of it is jealousy, but I think the bigger part of it is plain old respect for everyone else who's forced to watch. Besides, I've got nothing to be jealous of--I know God has great plans for my love life! :-) And I can't wait to bring my boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever to Paris one day so we can prove that romance doesn't require immense amounts of spit and lines from a Hallmark card. :-P

Okay, I'm hungry. That Snickers kept me going for a while but I think it's time for a real meal now. And by real meal I mean something easily refrigerated that I can cook in the microwave. Hooray college.

So I spent this past weekend in Brussels and Bruges. The question most people ask right away isn't, "How was it?" or "Did you have fun?" but rather, "Wait...where's that?" Allow me to enlighten you. Brussels and Bruges are located in the lovely country of Belgium, which is to the northeast of France. Me, the roomie and our friend Lyda hitched a bus up there Saturday morning to spend the weekend out of the busy city. Allow me to recount some of our adventures:

We got to Brussels around noon on Saturday, after riding a tour bus on which we were the only white people, haha. We couldn't check into the hotel right away so they had us stash our luggage in some storage room...which didn't seem like the safest measure, but apparently in Europe it's the norm. Then we took off through the city. We had a really crappy map and no idea how to use the metro or bus, so we did what any intelligent people would do: we walked! We headed towards downtown and reached the GORGEOUS Grand Marche, which had amazing architecture that fascinated us beyond belief (check Webshots for the visual representation). We ate lunch at a crowded but pleasant cafe, and we noticed right away that Belgium is a lot louder than France, lol. That was a nice change since I've had to be quiet in public for the last four weeks. After lunch we went to the Brussels Museum, saw a couple awesome cathedrals, and popped in a couple shops. Then we headed to see the famous "Manneken-Pis" fountain statue, which is a statue of a little boy who's peeing and the water comes out of his...well, you get the idea. The legend is that someone once tried to burn down Brussels and a little boy peed on the fuse to save the city. So now there's a statue dedicated to him, and he wears precious little outfits too. So fun. And of course we bought chocolate--TONS of chocolate. And ate some good Belgian steak and drank some pretty good strawberry beer (Belgium is supposedly the beer capital of the world so I had to partake in the cultural experience). In order to better appreciate the experience, every hour one of us would say, "Hey ya'll, we're in Belgium." We wanted to keep reminding ourselves of the novelty so we wouldn't take it for granted, haha. That night in the hotel, we watched real TV for the first time in a month. It was almost a surreal experience--we'd forgotten how to use a remote! Oh, and we got to sleep in beds that actually had boxsprings. Now THAT was a nice change from the norm.

Sunday we took off for Bruges and got there around 11. Bruges is a beautiful canal town that's called the "Venice of the North." It defintely lived up to its nickname! The town was so different that anything I've ever seen (except at Epcot, but that doesn't count, Besides, that's Norway.) As opposed to Brussels, where everything was written in French and Dutch, the signs in Bruges were only in Dutch. I had fun attempting to pronounce the words, though I'm sure anyone who heard me thought I was horribly butchering the language. To complete our full Belgian experience we devoured a plate of Belgian waffles (amazing!!!!) Then we did a lot of souvenir shopping (Bruges has the most awesome shops ever!) and rode a boat along the canal. The boat guide heard us speaking English and French and asked if he could just give the tour in French. We told him that was fine, and he ended up thinking we were Canadian because we spoke both languages! He was surprised to find out we were actually Americans. So, I got to be Canadian for a day. Yay. After taking tons of pictures of the gorgeous town (again, check webshots) we hopped back on the bus and came back to Paris. Arriving in Paris felt like we were coming home--it was such a weird feeling. Walking back to the foyer, we were like, "Yay, it's our neighborhood!" when really it's...not. Funny how we've become so attached to this place.

So that was our weekend adventure in Belgium. I still can't believe I actually went to Belgium. By myself. Without my parents. With my friends. Totally randomly. Wow, I'm such an adult. :-)

The last 12 hours of my life have been...well, very very weird. Yesterday was a big "field trip" day for the program so I was basically running all around Paris from 10:30 am till 7 pm. And of course we're having ourselves a nice little "canicule" (in English: heatwave), which doesn't exactly make life easy. There is virtually NO air conditioning in Paris and public drinking fountains are about as foreign to these people as a victory in war. Thus it becomes VERY easy to overheat. I guess I wasn't being as diligent as I thought I was when it came to water consumption, because when I got back to my room around 7 last night, things went downhill.

At first everything was peachy keen; I was chatting online and feeling a only a little weak (I thought it was just fatigue from being out all day). But around 9, I went nuts. I was so far gone it was like I had chugged an entire bottle of vodka. People were honestly asking me if I was drunk, and I know I was acting that way. I was laughing at everything, I couldn't walk in a straight line, I was slurring my words, and I was acting more retarded that ever. I kind of wandered from room to room and entertained everyone with my sobriety-induced drunkenness. People were getting a kick out of it but at the same time I was kind of worrying them. One of my buddies over here is a bio major, so he was telling me what I had to do to rehydrate myself. He had me eat salty food, gave me apple juice to drink and even let me slump over on his bed for a while. While I was in his room I'm pretty sure I relayed the entire story of my love life to his roommate and another girl in there...but I don't really remember everything I said, haha. Oh well. After a while I stopped being funny and just felt really dizzy and weak, so a couple people helped me hobble back to my room (as I rambled on about something...I think it was fruits and vegetables). I passed out pretty early and when I woke up this morning there was NO way I was going out for today's early-morning field trip. So I slept instead. Yay for sleep. But here's the fun part: TODAY is supposed to be the hottest day of the summer so far! I couldn't even make it through the not-hottest day of the summer--what am I gonna do today?!? I'm not gonna lie, it kinda freaks me out, and I'm still a little loopy from yesterday. Let's hope I live to see the States again.

So there's my story of being a little too sober. Funny how my insanity is induced by NOT drinking. Oh, the irony of life. ;-)

So today was interesting for several reasons. One: I wanted very badly to go back to the USA. Two: I wanted very badly to stay much longer in France.

After being gone for over a month, I'm reaching the point where I'm ready to head home. Not like I'm longing to pack my bags and leave, but if I was to leave France tomorrow, I would be okay with that. I really miss my country!!! I miss being able to talk to random people (the only French people who socialize with strangers are the mentally unstable ones) and go out at night without an escort. This will sound very weird, but all I want right now is to turn left out of my neighborhood in my Taurus. I know, that's bizarre, but it's what I associate with home. I just want to turn left!!! I want to head towards the mall and the movie theater and everything else that comprises the wonder of Loudoun County. Paris is nice, but good Lord, I am NOT cut out to be a city girl all my life. I need time to stop and talk to people and figure out some way I'm connected to them (some of you know what I mean, lol). I hate having to ignore people as they walk down the street...and I hate not recognizing people in general. Man, I'm so not cut out for this. I don't know that I could take more than one summer of city life. I'm too much of a hick for that.

But at the same time...there's so much I want to accomplish here. Tonight my next-door neighbors from home were in town to visit their Parisian family, and they took me out to dinner with them. As I was sitting there, I realized how far I have to go to speak fluent French. Their French family members would speak to me in French, and I would understand the gist of it, but I could never have formulated those sentences on my own...which is frustrating, because I want SO badly to be fluent. I guess I need to apply myself more and really force myself to be in French mode 24/7, because I only have 3 weeks left to really practice. Plus, I've got a fairly long to-do list posted on my wall in pretty post-it notes. I need to knock those things off my list, and then I'll be satisfied. And it looks as though I'm traveling to Brussels this weekend! So I've got plenty to keep me busy, and it'll go by sooooo quickly. I really do need to make the most of my time.

So life is kind of a paradox right now, but I'm enjoying it! Watching the Tour de France in the front row yesterday was pretty surreal, and though I'm missing the States pretty bad, I'm still on the adrenaline from watching the race...so I'll hang in there. Hey, three more weeks in Paris can't be too bad, right?

I steal a lot of things from Colleen...

...but I think I'm changing it a bit.

According to ME, here's the soundtrack to my life:


Opening credits:
Love, Liberty, Disco--Newsboys

Waking up:
Dare You to Move--Switchfoot

Average day:
Blessed Be Your Name--Tree 63

First date:
Kiss Me--Sixpence None the Richer

Falling in love:
Making Memories of Us--Keith Urban

Breaking up:
I'm Still Here--Vertical Horizon

Getting back together:
The Sun and the Moon--Mae

Secret love:
Where you Are--Rascall Flatts

Life's okay:
God's Been Good to Me--Keith Urban

Mental breakdown:
Who am I?--Casting Crowns

Driving:
Days Go By--Keith Urban

Learning a lesson:
There Goes My Life--Kenny Chesney

Deep thought:
This Is Your Life--Switchfoot

Flashback:
St. Patrick's Day--John Mayer

Partying:
Livin' On a Prayer--Bon Jovi

Happy dance:
Your Body is a Wonderland--John Mayer

Regretting:
Tonight I Wanna Cry--Keith Urban

Death song:
When I Get Where I'm Going--Brad Paisley

Warning: Kathryn's getting deep.

All of a sudden I'm in this pensive and contemplative mood. There are several events that have led up to it (none of which shall be directly named), but I've learned quite a few things in the past few days that result in this thoughtful state of mind. Besides, I guess it's about time I post more than just a detailed account of my daily actions.

So first off, I've learned that I can't isolate myself from things or people I'd rather not associate with. It doesn't accomplish anything. Sure, I can be happy in my bubble, but what good am I doing? Am I learning anything knew? Am I experiencing anything new? No! I'm living "safe," and that's not what I'm called to do as a Christian. Most people think just the opposite about Christianity; they think it's all about being the goodie-goodie and not talking to "bad people." NOT true. For one thing, there are no bad people--we're all equal in God's sight. Second, healthy people don't need a doctor; sick people do. People who already know God's love don't need to hear and see the message like those who don't know Him. I need to spread the Lord's love wherever I go--not by shoving it in people's face, not by telling them I'm better than them (because I'm not), but by loving them the way God has commanded me to. Everyone, everywhere. Quite an awesome lesson.

The second thing I've learned is...well, kind of confusing. It deals with people that are already in my bubble and how I interact with and think of them. Certain people (again, no details) have hurt me very indirectly recently, and I've learned so much from it. I've learned that no matter how much I care about someone, I can't pin my emotions on them. I can't let anyone control how I feel. Easier said than done, I know, but here's the thing: I need to be willing, at any time, to let go of a human relationship if it's what God wants me to do. That's extremely difficult, but I got to that point a couple days ago, when someone hurt me without realizing it and I was really depressed about it. In the middle of my pity-party I said to God, "I don't need this person, Lord, I only need you." And at that moment I was overcome with peace. I wasn't depending on this person to make me feel good or happy; I was only looking to God. Sure, our human relationships are extremely important (and God wants them to be that way), but I think they're much healthier when we remember that our relationship with the Lord is the only relationship that will ever completely satisfy us. Man, that takes a lot of pressure off of us humans, doesn't it? :-P

If you're wondering who all I'm discussing in this post, I will tell you this: it's most likely not who you're thinking, you can ask questions if you so choose, but I can't guarantee I'll answer. I just wanted to share some of this with you all in hopes that someone can relate and feel comforted by it. What good is knowledge if you don't share it?

Well I'm on my "break" from classes today (I have field trip to the Louvre in about 2 hours) so I figured I'd write a little post. Things are pretty wild over here in France, what with the impending World Cup final and the good ole French preparing to play Italy for the title. Last night the JMU group watched the game at a restaurant that overlooked the huge mob in the street (people crowd in the street to watch TV through open cafe windows). It was sooooo much fun, especially when France pulled off the victory. We all joined in the giant mob outside in the square, which was an even crazier version of the last riot. Only this time, we were all decked out in our French gear, so we got hugs and cheers and high-fives from other French fans who had no idea we were Americans! It felt good to not be hated for once. :-) Today everyone is either hungover or too tired to really function (I fall into the second category, no worries) and I'm already looking foward to bedtime in about 12 hours...

I don't know that there's much else to report. Classes are going well, and I'm really hoping my French will improve at least a good bit by the time I leave. One girl reassured me this way: my French can't get any worse!

And happy belated July 4...I'm sorry I missed it!

Well JMU Summer in Paris Program has officially begun! We had orientation meetings yesterday and today, and I did so much walking I think I've burned off all my calories from my last 10 meals...but it's been fun. Last night my roommate Colleen and I went to a little sports-bar to grab some cheap dinner and watch some of the France/Brazil match. Well things were going fine until this old guy showed up and sat next to us, and wouldn't freaking shut up! At first he was kind of amusing, asking us random questions and saying how we were the only "beauties" in the place. Then he just got annoying. He kept offering buy us drinks and asking us why American girls are so hostile to "kind gentlemen." He was using a joking tone, but it still weirded us out. We committed an extreme French faux-pas and asked for the check (it's considered rude to rush the waiters) but I think they understood why we wanted to leave because the waiter came over and said, "Man, you've chased these girls away!" A couple nice guys behind us were like, "Ladies, you don't have to leave, we'll get him to stop talking," but we insisted we had to go. Good idea, since I'm sure it was chaos in there when France won. Speaking of which...

We watched the rest of the match back at the foyer, and as soon as it was over people began flooding the streets and driving aimlessly in their cars hanging out of their windows and waving flags. Colleen and I met some other girls at the foyer during the game (one was from Philly, one was from Sweeden, and one was from Italy) and the five of us walked down the street to where the Parisens were having a HUGE "get together." It was pretty much a riot. People had climbed statues and lightpoles and were playing in the giant fountain. And even though there were a few cops around, most of the cop cars were driving around honking and waving flags just like everyone else! It was madness, but it was soooooo awesome. Stuff like that never happens [legally] in the US so it was so cool to be a part of it here. I'm really hoping France takes it all the way to the end, because if these people go crazy over a quarter-final, just think what it would be like to win the whole World Cup!

Today was some more orientation and a LOT of walking, so I'm pretty pooped, and it's only 6:30! A couple of us were planning to take a boat ride on the Siene but I'm thinking I'll probably have to pass...I don't think my legs will move anymore.

P.S.--I really miss home and my friends and the US and anyone who is reading this, so if you have some time, please shoot me an email or facebook message or something. It's nice to get things from home! :-)

Continuing the story of My Life In France So Far...


Yesterday (Tuesday) my family rented a car to drive up to Normandy. Being a history-inclined group, we were really anxious to see the D-Day beaches. Getting out of the city was pretty difficult; they don't exactly have traffic laws here, and motorcyles and scooters ride on sidewalks and between cars...so needless to say it was a tad difficult to manage. We got lost again up near Normandy but eventually found the beaches. Wow. So amazing. It was so cool to be standing in the place that essentially changed human history. Today the beaches are so beautiful and serene, but 60-some years ago they were covered in tanks, exploding grenades and dead soldiers. It was weird to picture that day as we stood there. The American Cemetary at Omaha Beach was awesome; my brother and I wandered around the graves and tried to imagine what kind of people the soldiers were (we especially enjoyed finding people like Tony Marino from New York and imagining he owned a pizza shop and his dad was a mob boss, lol). The other awesome part was Point du Hoc, which is where the Ranger forces climbed cliffs on D-Day. The German bunkers are still there, and we wandered around in them...which was pretty eery because I half-expected a Nazi to come out of the pitch black and attack me, lol. The ground was also covered in HUGE holes where shells from the ships had exploded. It was pretty easy to picture the battle scene at that place!

We ate dinner in an adorable restaurant in Saint Mere-Eglise, a small town that John recognized because it's "in his video game." We ate a full four-course meal (amazing food) and ended up being there for about 2 hours because the French really like to savor their dinner! On the way back to Paris we got reeeeeeeeally lost and ended up adding about an hour to our trip. My dad was driving and he was such a pill the whole time; I thought getting lost was kinda fun! Eventually we made it back to good ole Paris and, well, that's the end of that story.

Today we all slept till after noon and then went to L'Arc de Triomphe, which was much more impressive than I expected. Then we took a walk down the Champs Elysees and popped into a couple shops...way too expensive for my budget! Went back to the Louvre after that for the evening discount, and I was really excited about taking the DaVinci Code tour. But, being stupid and failing to read signs, I didn't realize I had to ask specifically for that audio machine and ended up getting a regular audio machine that just told about various works in the museum. That was pretty cool though--I learned some good stuff, plus I have all summer to take the DaVinci tour. And because I was by myself, without my loud American family, I got to speak French to the lady at the desk, which made me very happy. :-)

We just got back from dinner at an awesome Italian restaurant, where I had my first glass of wine. Don't worry, it's legal...and I probably won't be doing it much more. It was okay, but man, I much prefer Diet Coke. You can't chug wine. And it's got that weird bitter taste...I dunno, maybe I'll get used to it. In the meantime I'll remain a Diet Coke-aholic. Right now I'm watching the World Cup, which I'm actually enjoying! Can you believe it?!? I know certain people are very proud of me right now.

I suppose that's all from here. Au revoir de Paris!

Well apparently I have an audience for this thing, so I suppose I should update it!

So I've been in France since Saturday, and I'll admit, there have been ups and downs. It was quite a struggle trying to navigate from the airport to our apartment, and my family ended up getting separated, having to find each other again, etc. But eventually we got here and got to bask in the glow of our adorable French flat. We had fun exploring the Luxembourg gardens on our first evening, and I got to speak some French to random fast-food workers (which was oh-so-enjoyable).

Sunday we slept till noonish (we were still on USA time) and then ventured out to Notre Dame. We climbed the 300+ stairs to the towers, and wow, what a view! Then we took a boat tour on the Siene river, where we got our first real view of the Eiffel Tower! YAY!!!

Yesterday we went to the Louvre for most of the day. I was obsessed with all the DaVinci Code stuff, but my family was more interested in shoving pushy tourists out of the way in the Mona Lisa line just for the fun of it. Ugh. It got annoying so we all went our separate ways, and I got lost for 30 minutes just trying to find the second floor, lol. I'll be spending lots of time there thanks to my art history class! After the Louvre we hit up Hard Rock Cafe Paris, then took off to the Eiffel Tower! We were there at sunset so we got a GORGEOUS view. John got excited 'cause he used the restrooms at the top, so now he can officially say he went to the bathroom at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Well we did awesome stuff today but I need to sleep, so I'll write about it later. Bon soir!